pluhme:

Men use love to get sex.
Women use sex to get love.
I use coupons to get pizza.

twinking:

girl: deeper!!!!

boy

image

I think Labor Day is ingrained in our minds to be the worst holiday of the year due to school being right after that

squided:

"bisexuals are just being greedy"

This statement is correct.  I want all the donuts to myself.  No sharon you can’t have a donut.  Yes, I know there are 24 donuts.  Yes, I want them all for myself.  Fuck off sharon.

Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns

audsfuture:

no you don’t understand i insult them because i love them

bewbin:

joshpeck:

bewbin:

joshpeck:

tbt to when i cared

its sunday get a calender

i don’t care

well i should’ve expected this

theamazingrealspiderman:

wickedgreensmile:

This rug.
I need it.
It’s important to me. 

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 exclusive footage.

theamazingrealspiderman:

wickedgreensmile:

This rug.

I need it.

It’s important to me. 

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 exclusive footage.

frumperdimplezerydah:

wildphilosoraptor:

fuckyeah-nerdery:

catbountry:

ex-wife:

did-you-kno:

Source 

"When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

"I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.”"

Wow.

Cats now control the prisons. They now have an army.

This post went exactly where I expected. Well done.

hoping-youd-stay:

I am this cat on so many levels

umdress:

gold-ens:

florahlily:

xkittykaattx:

sasstrid-and-dorkcup:

madehimsaycomfychairs:

floacist:

iwishitwas1983:

I’m crying.

LMAOOOOOOOOO the screaming in the beginning

"mr. owl"
"oh jesus christ"
"please don’t give me that look"
"please don’t fly"

DYING omg

That owl is 30000000% done

every time this video graces me with its presence i feel obliged to reblog it

never fails 

HAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG

I ACTUALLY HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES

kffj:

officialben10:

punkedited:

Mitt Romney 

BYE!

 is that jakemalik

kffj:

officialben10:

punkedited:

Mitt Romney 

BYE!

is that jakemalik